it’s my life

24 in 2008.

That’s how old I am now…or should I say how young I am now.

Even though I am considered an adult, I just found out that I’ve not grown much. Why?

Sitting on my off day in the rainy night, alone… I started thinking…I’m not actually happy with myself….Have I become better or worse as a person?

Answer : Worse (That actually came out quite easy…Cause it’s true)

I remembered back when I was still struggling as a teenager. I was stronger then. Even when I didn’t know anything much, I was able to fight and hold off my demons, raging hormones and problems that I can’t get solutions to.

Now that I’m older, I’m slowly losing control of everything. Maybe it is due to my work. Night shift. 12hrs. Working almost the whole week with only 1 day off. Less time for myself.

But I feel that all those are not really reasons but excuses. We’re suppose to become stronger and better. Able to take anything that comes in our way. Be more matured in our thinking instead of sulking and stomping about when emotions flared.

Yes. That’s what I do at work when I saw guys talking to a girl that I’m close to. No, we’re not together. But that is happening much nowadays and I’m getting tired of it. Giving in to emotions and desires… Time to change but still a long way to go…

Time to grow stronger, more matured and be a better person.

I guess I have to grow up again.

As do the rest of the world, I guess.